


Being Chuck Tingle

by An_Artificial_Aspidistra



Category: Inception (2010)
Genre: Inside the mind of literary genius Chuck Tingle, Let us never speak of the third dream level and what might have happened there, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-16
Updated: 2016-09-16
Packaged: 2018-08-15 07:53:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8048380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/An_Artificial_Aspidistra/pseuds/An_Artificial_Aspidistra
Summary: A gift for Aja inspired by this tumblr post:"BTW guys i asked Chuck Tingle if he thought the top fell down in inception and he responded, “in HANDSOME LEOS TIME PARTY the top never fell down sorry charlie”so fyi i’m going to be referring to this fandom as HANDSOME LEOS TIME PARTY from now on thnks"





	Being Chuck Tingle

**Author's Note:**

  * For [bookshop (Aja)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aja/gifts).



Arthur was almost entirely certain he was having auditory hallucinations. Or that someone had slipped him some really good drugs.

Just to be certain, he asked Eames again, "Saito has requested that we perform inception on WHO?!"

"Chuck Tingle, darling. You know the renowned author of such classics as..."

"'Space Raptor Butt Invasion'? Eames, someday you and I are going to have a very serious talk about what you consider the English literary canon."

"Screw the patriarchal, heteronormative hegemony of dead white men, I always say."

"I'm still pretty sure that doesn't mean 'Gay T-Rex Law Firm' or 'Buttageddon' are going to win the PEN Faulkner anytime soon."

"Your research for this job sounds suspiciously thorough already, darling. I'm always available to read out loud if you'd ever like to multitask."

"Unnecessary, Mister Eames, because I'm still not entirely certain Saito isn't pranking us with this job, although you would think he has more productive ways to spend his time."

"No no, hear me out. His plan is actually quite brilliant. We're to enter Mr. Tingle's mind and incept him with the entire idea of mind crime AND inception itself!"

"Saito wants us to expose the secrecy of our entire profession to a SELF-PUBLISHED dinosaur-themed gay erotica author?!"

Eames raised an eyebrow. "Being self-published is the part that's got your knickers in a twist?"

"What? My mom worked as an editorial assistant for a few years after she graduated from Swarthmore. You wouldn't believe the nutjobs that end up in the slush pile."

Eames bounced on the balls on his feet in enthusiasm. "Never mind that. This is where it's precisely so brilliant, darling! Once Mr. Tingle has us (or our fictional equivalents) down in his gloriously purple prose, no one will ever believe that what we do is real at all! It's the perfect way to hide our profession in plain sight!"

"That is the dumbest..." Eames could actually SEE the moment Arthur's brain turned from its reflexive dismissal of the idea to serious consideration of the same. "Damn it. Saito might be crazy, but he might be crazy like an extremely wealthy fox."

\-------------

Six months, five novels read aloud by Eames and grudgingly listened to by Arthur, and an extremely difficult kidnapping from a live read-aloud sponsored by The Moth later, Arthur and Eames found themselves in a dreamscape populated by sentient Hugo Awards, iPhones, and snowflake-themed Starbucks cups. Tingle himself perplexingly always appeared with a bag over his head like Thomas Pynchon from that one episode of The Simpsons. They didn't find the dinosaurs until the second level, and the third, well, the third they agreed never to speak of again. 

Two weeks after THAT they found extremely large deposits in various offshore accounts that could most certainly NOT be traced back to Saito Corp in any way. When Arthur checked his Amazon alert email he saw "Buttception: or Handsome Leo's Time Party" had been released into the world for $2.99. The main character seemed to be actor Leonardo DiCaprio, but he was helped by his sidekicks "Saarinen" and "King" Arthur. Well, there were worse ways to make an obscene pile of cash, Arthur thought. 

Slightly more unexpected was the simultaneous release of "Pounded in the Butt By My Eames Lounge." Finding the copy Eames left on his desk the next day was definitely one of the stranger ways he'd been propositioned, but then again Arthur DOES appreciate the classics of Western literature.


End file.
